Partner Stress Series Part 1

Watch (with headphones is possible) till 1:13.

Having just experienced a small example of what people with hearing loss deal with daily, how do you feel? Could you feel your stress level rising?

Hearing loss is more complicated than not just being able to hear… it can create or add to the stress in our lives.

In today’s world, we have a lot of stress in our lives. According to the American Psychology Association, 75% of adults experience moderate to high stress on a monthly basis and the amount of stress has increased in the last year alone. With this much stress flying around everywhere it’s important we understand what stress is, how it is affecting us; both physically and mentally, and how hearing loss increases and maintains heightened stress levels.

So what can we do about it?

What is Stress?

We all have some idea or definition we immediately think of for ‘stress’. It may be a feeling we associate with it, a situation, or a scientific definition. But what is stress really?

Stress is “the non-specific response [emotional or physical] of the body to a demand imposed on it”1. by strain or adverse circumstances. At its fundamental base, stress is an imbalance. Within our bodies, our systems are constantly trying to remain in homeostasis (balance). When things occur in our environment that increase the energy needed to accomplish a task, it changes how our body reacts. Chemicals in our brains change, our circulatory system may constrict, our heart rate and breathing increase, our digestive systems get put on pause, etc. All this internal change happens to provide more energy where it is needed.

Think of it this way, our bodies are like a thermostat. If we set our thermostat to 20 degrees, it will turn on the furnace when the temperature drops below 17 degrees. And will turn it off when the temperature rises above 22 degrees. Like a thermostat, our bodies are trying to keep a stable internal environment in our ‘homes’ using a baseline with some variability.

So stress or a stressor is anything that disrupts that internal balance causing us to burn energy to return to that baseline. These stressors can be a number of things: positive or negative stress, physical, emotional, internal, external, obvious or not so obvious, etc. Although what stressors we face changes over our lifespan, we all experience stress.

Stress and Hearing Loss

So what do stress and hearing loss have to do with each other?

As mentioned above, hearing loss is more complicated than just not being able to hear; although that is where it starts. Our fundamental nature, as human beings, is to be in community with others. When hearing loss occurs, that ability to connect is put in danger. Think about your partner or other people in your life with hearing loss. Have you experienced them struggle to communicate with you? Have they missed what you said or misinterpreted it? Have they gotten frustrated, sad, etc.?

For your partner with hearing loss, some of the stresses they may experience due to their hearing loss includes:

• Straining to hear
• Feeling lost in conversation
• The embarrassment of responding incorrectly
• Frustrated by asking others to repeat
• Not confident going to certain environments (restaurants, groups, theatre, etc.)
• Frustrated by family or friends comments about their hearing
• Socially isolated

With the additional life stress added by hearing loss, how can we help our loved ones reduce their stress and engage in communication again?

Reducing Stress

Over the years, I’m sure you and your partner have found some kind of ‘stress management’ that has worked for a while. Unfortunately, as we move through life our stressors can change, meaning our strategies may not work in all situations for long periods of time. They probably wouldn’t go to the gym to help relieve the stress from hearing loss, even though it worked to reduce work stress. ‘Stress management’ is only a temporary solution.

We have to change our perspective on stress and how to handle it.

From what we’ve discovered about stress, we know stress is the extra use of energy that changes the internal workings of our bodies. Meaning, we need to find out how to re-energize ourselves in consistent ways. Additionally, we also have to find out what is truly causing us stress in order to better understand how to change it.

In regards to hearing loss, hearing aids and proper communication strategies are just a few ways we can reduce a bit of that stress, but there is so much more…

Homework

Try to answer these questions:

• What do you know about stress?
• What stresses you out?
• What things naturally make you feel calm?
• What do you notice about your partner when they feel stressed? Ask them how they feel about it
• Is there anything you do that helps your partner feel calm when they are stressed?

Stay tuned for Part 2 of our stress series. In it, we will discuss a new perspective on stress and reducing it.

1. Stress definition from the Mehrit Centre https://self-reg.ca/glossary/